


The Next Best Thing

by KatrinaEagle



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Enemies, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pining, Settling, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26538502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatrinaEagle/pseuds/KatrinaEagle
Summary: They both had things they could not say to the right person. So they said it to the wrong person instead.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas/Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)
Kudos: 17





	The Next Best Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this is an old work originally hosted on FF.net in 2012. I've gotten a lot more comfortable using AO3 instead, so I'm migrating a few of my favourites here.

_"Do you still think about Sora?"_

The hands in his hair were rough, and Roxas was too far gone to make a proper reply. Tears leaked out his cerulean blue eyes in pain. Whether the pain was emotional or physical even Roxas didn't know himself. All he knew was the hurt, everywhere.

And when he came, he looked into the face so much like Sora's, his heart nearly melted. But the eyes staring back at him was a cruel, cold gold, darkened with lust and...

"...Ah, Ven..."

...and love, for his older brother that Vanitas couldn't have.

Roxas felt the tears spill in waves. Pushing Vanitas back roughly, he closed his eyes and thought of Sora. Those wonderfully smooth chocolate locks, those deep blue eyes...

"Sora..."

* * *

Roxas walked into school feeling much more tired than usual. His waist hurt, his wrists hurt, and more importantly, his heart hurt.

His best friend came running up to him. Sora shone like the sun, all smiles and rainbows. His childish demeanor prompted plenty of people to not take him seriously, but Roxas knew that Sora could be serious when he wanted to. He just didn't choose to live like that. It was one of the reasons why Roxas was so attracted to him... Like a moth to a flame.

"Morning, Sora." he said.

"Morning." Sora quickly replied, before launching into a detailed, excited recap of his date with Riku last night.

As Roxas listened to Sora talk about his midnight walk in the park and the ice-cream they shared, he wondered bitterly what Sora would say if he knew that his best friend was screwing his older cousin when he was out on a sickeningly sweet date with Riku.

* * *

Vanitas didn't try to hide the fact that he was watching Ventus intently. After all, they were intense rivals, from grades to sports and everything else.

What nobody knew was that Vanitas stared at him for a totally different reason.

Ventus scowled upon the sight of the black-haired boy. His normally happy face contorted into one of disgust, and he made a show of flicking his head in the other direction. Vanitas took in the sight of Ventus smiling brightly and laughing with his posse, and glared at the empty sheet of paper on his desk with a heavy heart.

* * *

Roxas learned that whenever Sora asks for his opinion it would turn into an argument. During the first week of meeting Riku, Sora had constantly bugged Roxas about him, since it was through Ventus that they had met him in the first place. Riku had taken an instant liking to the cute boy, and soon asked him out. Faced with such a difficult situation, he turned to his best friend for an answer.

Roxas had initially tried to help, but with Sora's increasingly annoying whines, questions about Riku and the jealousy festering within his heart, he finally told Sora to say no.

Which was a huge mistake, considering the way Sora blew up. Roxas apologized for a week, and still Sora stoutly went on dates nearly everyday with Riku, leaving Roxas alone.

Which was how he got involved with Vanitas.

Roxas did know Sora had a cousin, but Sora never spoke much about him. So when after a week and Roxas was too anxious about his crush to sit still and do nothing, he went to Sora's place to look for him.

Vanitas opened the door, and regarded him with the most surprised look he has ever seen Vanitas wear, aside from snobbish and uninterested.

"Ventus?" he had asked, without any malice to his voice.

"Uh, no." Roxas replied, entirely too used to people mistaking him for his brother. "I'm Roxas. Ventus is my brother."

"Oh." Vanitas said, completely losing all interest in the young Ventus look-alike. "Yeah, why would he come to see me anyway..." he trailed off, sounding a little angry.

Roxas raised an eyebrow inquiringly at him. "Is Sora around?" he asked, deciding to not worry about Sora's cousin and his weird affection for Ventus.

Vanitas barely spared him a glance. "No."

"Do you know where he is now..?"

"No."

Roxas felt like strangling the guy. "Is he on a date with Riku?"

Vanitas looked at him this time, for two seconds. "Maybe."

Roxas decided it was the best answer he could get.

That was the first time he ever met Vanitas, and he didn't even know his name.

* * *

The second time he met Vanitas was completely coincidental. He was waiting for Sora at the mall, after prostrating himself and being mercifully forgiven, when he bumped into Vanitas. Literally.

"Hey! Watch it!" Vanitas had snarled, rubbing his shoulder.

Roxas picked himself off the ground with a hand on his head. "Asshole." he muttered, still a little dizzy from the fall. He was genuinely surprised when he felt a hand stabilize him.

"Ventus?"

"..No. Roxas." Roxas sighed, then looked up at the other person. "Oh. Sora's cousin."

Vanitas quirked an eyebrow, lips drawn into a thin line. "Vanitas."

Roxas decided to be the courteous one, so he stuck out a hand. "Nice to meet you, Vanitas. I'm Roxas. Ventus' younger brother."

Vanitas eyed his hand a little warily before returning the handshake with a firm grip. "Pleasure." he muttered.

"Um. Have you by any chance seen Sora around?" Roxas asked, deciding to at least get some information from the black-haired boy.

Vantias waved his hand vaguely from the direction where he came from. "Said he was meeting with Riku."

Roxas frowned. "But... he was supposed to meet _me_."

Vanitas shrugged. "Looks like you got dumped for the boyfriend. Tough luck." He said with a little malice between his words, then turned to leave.

Roxas blinked uncertainly at him before leaving to call Sora. In the end he accompanied Sora on his date with Riku (much to his mortification and Riku's disagreement), because Sora had completely forgotten his date with Roxas and didn't want him to feel "left out". Roxas did, either way.

* * *

Ventus was the person who "properly" introduced Roxas to Vanitas. Despite how much he grumbled about "being stuck with that complete asshole for a stupid English project, what terrible luck", Roxas could tell that Ventus rather enjoyed Vanitas' company outside of school grounds. But then again, Ventus enjoyed anybody's company as long as attention was on him. And Vanitas practically lavished Ventus with attention.

Roxas was a little surprised no one picked up on the way Vanitas treated Ventus differently from everyone else. Vanitas was a whole lot more polite and restrained around his older brother, especially when he didn't have an image to keep up.

Which is why when after Vanitas had left for home, Roxas casually asked his brother what he thought of the black-haired boy. Ventus laughed. Hard.

"Oh, you think he's nice now? My god, Rox, you poor delusional soul. He's rotten to the core, every last inch of him. I didn't want you to see how an asshole he could be, and also I've got my 4.0 CGPA to maintain, so I tried not to push his buttons. Damn this English group assignment. But honestly, Rox, he's an asshole. Stay away from him."

Roxas was a little unimpressed that his brother thought so lowly of Vanitas. Ventus tended to do that a lot, since he was born with the spotlight on him. Ventus could be really mean when he wanted to.

Roxas remembers feeling distinctly sorry for Vanitas.

* * *

Fate brought them together again less than a week after that.

Roxas woke up miserable with heartache from an awfully sweet dream of him and Sora walking along a beach, hand in hand. Feeling incredibly sorry for himself that day, he chose to wear black.

Ventus' college classes only started at 11, so he was still dead asleep. Roxas ate breakfast alone, walked to school alone, and felt utterly miserable. Anymore bad things happening and he'll be slitting wrists in the school bathroom while listening to Linkin Park and Green Day songs.

Bad things happened. Misery, apparently, loves company.

Sora ditched him at lunch to spend some 'alone time' with Riku (to which Roxas had heatedly replied, "Since when have you two _not_ been alone together?") after wasting math period telling him all about the dinner Riku treated him to the night before. Ventus texted him to tell him he would be staying over at Terra's with Aqua to work on their Architecture Project, so he'd be eating dinner alone. Again.

By the end of the school day he felt incredibly small and lonely.

Deciding to skip going home entirely, he went to the mall and walked aimlessly around. Which was where he saw a certain black-haired boy sitting alone at the fountain, head hanging and a general air of gloom festering around him. Normally Roxas would ignore him and continue with his life, but something about the miserable day made him decide that sucky company was better than no company.

Roxas walked up to Vanitas and poked his shoulder, making the other boy jump.

"Um. Hi." Roxas started lamely, already feeling like he had made a huge mistake.

Vanitas didn't speak, instead staring so intensely that Roxas felt highly uncomfortable.

"Roxas." he finally said, turning his head way.

Roxas tilted his head slightly. "Yes. Were you expecting Ventus, instead?"

Vanitas stilled for a moment before shaking his head. "No." he sounded like he was trying to reaffirm himself instead. "No, I was just... sitting here."

"Oh." Roxas said, shuffling awkwardly. Now he really wished he hadn't spoken to Vanitas at all. "Um. Well, are you waiting for someone, then?"

Vanitas smiled wryly. "No chances of the person I want to see ever coming."

"Well then, um, wanna catch a movie together or something? Because Sora ditched me for Riku, and well..."

Vanitas thought for a moment before agreeing. "Alright then. Might as well."

Roxas paid for the popcorn, in the end, because Vanitas bullied him into it. Although to be honest, though, he didn't mind much. Vanitas' company was better than he thought, and better than Ventus gave credit for.

* * *

Vanitas gradually became the person he went to when Sora ditched him (which was fairly regularly) and Vanitas found himself calling up Roxas whenever the mood hit him. Roxas never responded negatively either.

So when Sora cancelled last minute on a Friday night movie marathon, Roxas just said okay, told Ventus that he'd be stepping out for a little while, and took a slow walk to Sora's house.

Vanitas opened the door with a slightly crazed look in his eyes. Roxas unconsciously took a wary step back.

"Is this a bad time, Vanitas?" he enquired politely.

"No... I just-" Vanitas fumbled with the words, taking deep breaths. "Just... It's nothing. Come in."

Roxas toed off his shoes and sat on one end of the couch while Vanitas sank lifelessly onto the other end, staring at the blank TV screen.

"I tried to ask Ventus out today." Vanitas murmured quietly after a while, the soft-spoken words filling the silent house.

Roxas froze up. It was insanely weird hearing someone tell you they tried to ask your older brother out, and apparently it didn't go over too well. In all honesty though, Roxas wasn't surprised, considering Ventus' incredibly low opinion of Vanitas.

Vanitas shifted his position and covered his eyes with his arm. "Of course, what was I thinking... And here I was, thinking I actually stood a chance... Fucking asshole. Stupid..."

Roxas tried to say something supportive. "I'm sorry, Vanitas."

Vanitas' golden eyes glowered from underneath his arm. "Sorry? What the fuck do you mean, _sorry_? Do you even know how I feel? To love someone you cannot have for years, and right when you think you have a chance, they fucking push you off a fucking cliff?" he roared, flinging the cushions onto the floor.

Roxas winced.

"I loved him, Roxas! I felt like he was truly the one, like my missing piece! But he hates me! He hates me the same way I love him, with a burning passion!"

Roxas averted his eyes away from the raging boy next to him. "I think I know..." he murmured softly, trailing off.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Vanitas demanded angrily.

"I said, I think I know how you feel." Roxas replied, squaring his shoulders and gazing back defiantly at Vanitas.

Vanitas narrowed his eyes, prepared to fly into a rage again.

"Why else do you think I keep trying to catch some time with Sora when I know he'll always blow me off at the last minute for Riku?"

Vanitas swallowed whatever he was about to say. The look on his face told Roxas that he was experiencing the same feeling Roxas did when someone told them they've been going after their related family member for years.

"So suck it up, Vanitas. You're not the only one."

Vanitas stared at him again with the penetrating golden eyes. This time Roxas was unprepared when he took two long strides and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"I'm selfish, Roxas." he hissed, shaking Roxas. "I'm selfish, and I can't get what I want. I want Ventus, and if I can't get him, I'm willing to settle for the next best thing."

Roxas' vision swirled. He thought of all the lonely nights and all the beautiful nightmares of Sora. He wondered how many times he had to physically hold himself back so that he wouldn't punch Riku solidly in the face, or how many times he had smiled at Sora's retelling of his dates while on the inside his heart ached and burned.

He saw Vanitas' golden eyes dilate and watch him closely, with the same hair and face that Sora had... and so Roxas raised his face to kiss Vanitas on the lips.

* * *

The next day during dinner, Roxas didn't need to ask Ventus anything for Ventus to spill.

"God, that asshole Vanitas- you remember him, right? Black hair, asshole... anyway, that idiot had the balls to actually try to hit on me. I mean, like what the fuck. Seriously. Who does that asshole think he is? I mean, other than the fact that he's Vanitas, of all people... Seriously! It blows my mind just thinking about it. Stupid asshole tried to grope me after lectures."

"But he is sorta good-looking, isn't he?" Roxas asked with a mouth full of fish.

Ventus laughed. "It would take him a whole lot more than good looks to win me over, Rox. Like maybe changing his entire personality. 'Sides, I dig chicks, alright?"

Roxas tried not to look _too_ disbelieving.

* * *

Roxas tried to wiggle his way into Sora's schedule again a few days later. "Are you busy after class this Thursday, Sor?" he asked.

Sora tapped his chin thoughtfully. "No. I guess not."

Roxas' heart leapt a little. "Wanna catch a movie, then? We can go for some snooker afterwards."

Sora smiled brightly. "Sure. It feels quite long since I've spent time with you, Roxy!"

Roxas didn't even feel offense at the horrible nickname. His heart thundered loudly and his mouth stretched so far his facial muscles cramped. "It has been quite a while. I'll meet you after class at your locker on Thursday, then!"

Sora nodded enthusiastically before throwing Roxas a hurried goodbye, rushing to the side of a silver-haired boy waiting at the classroom door.

The sight of Riku didn't even dampen Roxas' spirits. _Maybe_ , he thought to himself, _just maybe there's still enough space in Sora's heart for me_.

* * *

Roxas camped for an hour at Sora's locker after classes on Thursday until Kairi, a mutual acquaintance, told him that she saw Sora take off with Riku twenty minutes ago.

Roxas tried to fight back the disappointment. It was to be expected, anyway. Sora didn't care two shits about him the last twenty times he tried to grab some of his time, why should he start now?

Nodding his head in Kairi's direction, he couldn't even be bothered to call Sora. His best friend would most likely pick up, say he forgot, and offer to set another date. After all, it was what he had used to blow Roxas off for the past twenty times. And twenty times he was with Riku.

Tears prickling his eyes, he power-walked to cool down. It didn't work much. In fact, he was in such an emotional state that when Vanitas opened the door, he was greeted with forceful lips against his.

Roxas poured all his sorrow and disappointment into Vanitas for the rest of the evening. It was all for Sora, he thought to himself. _All for Sora_.

* * *

Vanitas hated himself for allowing Roxas into his life. The comparisons he made were never in Roxas' favor, and yet he still allowed that replacement to linger around his conscious mind. Eyes following a hyper Ventus around, he could help but be bitter. Bitter that of all the people he had to fall for, he had to fall for all-year-long sunshine Ventus Strife. Just seeing him hang around with Terra and Aqua was enough to make him gag a little, because Terra was a weak fool that worked out and Aqua was an idealist with too high an opinion of herself. Vanitas hated the sight of them. Vanitas hated himself for not being able to look away.

* * *

Shit hit the ceiling fan when Roxas called Vanitas in the middle of lecture in tears. Vanitas glanced briefly at the Economics lecturer, an old man with a monotone. He decided that he should very well skip his class.

"Give me twenty minutes." he replied smoothly, then got up as quietly as he could and left. He didn't fail to notice Ventus glancing his way quizzically. Smirking, he winked back at Ventus before closing the door. He chuckled to himself.

He reached the Strife household in less than fifteen minutes. Vanitas took half a minute to congratulate himself on a new record. Yet before he could even knock on the front door, it was pulled open roughly by a distraught Roxas.

"I screwed up." he whispered over and over again, tears falling fast. "I screwed up. With Sora."

Vanitas held out a cushion for Roxas to wipe his tears away because he didn't know where the tissues were and he was _not_ going to deal with tears. It was a personal rule he had.

Roxas buried his face into the cushion and sank into the couch. "I screwed up. I called Riku a player and Sora went all insane on me. He said he never wants to speak to me again. What do I do, what do I do..." he muttered, shaking with sobs.

Vanitas pulled a face before coming forward to pat Roxas lightly on the back. "Sora never means what he says." he offered.

"You don't understand. I've never seen him so serious before. He was so pissed at me. At me! I'm his best friend, you'd think-" Roxas hiccuped. "I don't know what to do. He yelled at me. He never wants to see me again." he turned his tear-filled eyes towards Vanitas. "I can't live without him. I can't live without Sora."

Vanitas pulled Roxas into a hug. Roxas instantly latched on and pushed his face into Vanitas'. Vanitas wouldn't say he particularly liked the salty taste of tears, but Roxas was extremely rough today... And really, that kid was near breaking point. What little comfort he could give may just save him.

Then Ventus came home. At first neither of them noticed the door being opened, but they definitely noticed when Ventus' shout pierced the air.

"Fuck." Vanitas breathed.

* * *

Ventus yelled at Vanitas for at least half an hour, using the word 'asshole' a whole lot more times than necessary. Vanitas, to be honest, was secretly enjoying the way Ventus' attention was on him and the way his eyes shone with emotion. Of course, it was for all the wrong reasons, but Vanitas was pretty sure this would be the only time he'd be able to see Ventus look like that, so he enjoyed it the best he could.

Roxas just sat on the couch, curled up into a ball with his face buried in the damp cushion. Vanitas didn't care much at all for Roxas when Ventus was pointing his finger at him in anger and jumping up and down.

He only left when Ventus wrenched the door open and roared at him to go. Vanitas did, but not before swiping his eyes down Ventus' body, earning him an impatient slam of the door. He heard even more shouting within the Strife household, but he just got into his car and left. It was only upon reaching home, however, did he let his tears fall at the prospect of his love having a hate so deeply seated that it'll last until their next life.

* * *

Vanitas didn't talk to Roxas after that, and didn't ask Sora anything concerning him since they hardly conversed at all anyway. Ventus would glare hard whenever he saw him in college, which Vanitas wasn't sure was a better or worse thing than previously just ignoring him.

It was two weeks later that he found Roxas sitting on the steps of his house when he came back from college. Roxas walked determinedly up to him as he got out of his car.

"Haven't seen you around- Whoa!" Vanitas said, as he dodged the punch Roxas threw. Tears gathered at the corner of the younger teen's eyes again.

"You fucking asshole." he hissed angrily.

"Hmm. That's what your brother said too." Vanitas quipped, earning himself another powerful swing. This one caught him right on the cheek.

Ten minutes later they were rolling on Vanitas' bed, disregarding the growing bruise on Vanitas' cheek and salty tears streaming down Roxas' closed eyes into their shared lip lock.

"We're fucked up, you know that?" Roxas breathed when they broke up for air. "We're sick. We don't even like each other."

Vanitas smirked and pulled him down for another kiss.

It was true. Roxas wasn't cute, or kind, or eternally happy. He didn't smile a lot, or had those shining blue eyes. He wasn't affectionate or lovable. But he was the next best thing.

**Author's Note:**

> 8 years later, and I realized that I've made Ventus too much of a dick. Er. I'm sorry? Ventus is legitimately one of my favourite characters ever.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed it. :)


End file.
